Rage and Hidden Things
by FellowPanther
Summary: A haphazard hashing of the romance of Garrus and FemShep as told across all three games. Mostly. Lots of off-canon for backstory. As this is my first ever fanfic, please bear with me getting used to everything. Rated M just in case for some steamy scenes.
1. Back Home

A flash of red; Makos and cursing marines firing into the air; a sound of screeching metal, and the faint whoof of air as the airlock latched shut on the Normandy.

Those were the last images he had of Jane Shepard.

" _Get those damn things the hell off my men!"_

"With pleasure," smirked a blue-faced turian. The clan markings were getting harder to read, what with the grime of war, the wear of age, and of course: the giant scar from a missile that marred the better half of his face. _Hell Garrus, you were always ugly- slap some war paint on it and you'll be fine._ He remembered her smirk wane as her eyes rested and lingered on his freshly bandaged face. Had she cared for him, even then? He figured he'd just have to ask her himself in their regular correspondence through private messages, but that would have to wait. For now, he had an ass load of husks to take care of. He took up a nice position just far enough away to create some distance, and just elevated enough to keep him out of arm's length.

The rocky, canyoned landscape of Menae offered plenty of suitable points to bunker down, but this spot couldn't be better: the rocks formed a funnel like effect that meant only a handful of husks could emerge at a time. Just enough for him to down them before their numbers became dangerous. He knew he needed to hold this position to offer some relief to the battalion attempting to escape behind him, as most were injured due to an unexpected explosion from a downed gunnery ship. These husks weren't going to _touch_ a single plate on those men, he made sure of that with every screaming, wailing husk that graced his crosshairs. _I love this rifle._

A flash of blue off in the distance, and the familiar electrical tingle that was left in the air. A biotic blast emanated from the nearby camp, but that shouldn't be right. The biotic units were stationed much further east, attempting to deal with a mess of harvesters dropping off cannibals. Garrus couldn't help himself as he took his sights from the funnel of husks, now piling high with the dead ones and creating an even more obtrusive bottleneck effect, and toward the camp.

It was indeed a biotic blast, one that sent husks and cannibals alike flailing midair-another crack of swirling blue from a singularity and the enemies remained stuck in their foolish floating positions as they were picked off with well placed shots. One cannibal however did not have the luxury of a quick and graceful pistol shot, though instead received the pulsated **blam** of a short range shotgun blast, directly in its abdomen. Recognizing the battle tactics immediately, Garrus' chuckle purred against his still raised sniper rifle as he thought to himself how she still wasn't any better of a shot. He quickly repositioned himself to throw out a proximity mine to collapse against the rocks, creating a barrier against the incoming horde of husks that was drastically thinned due to his superior shots. The dust still settled as he turned to the direction of the camp, his steps quickening. There was no reaper on this moon that was going to touch his human.

"What do you mean she's _gone?"_ he hissed, stepping closer to the general who had the unfortunate task of informing him of Shepard's whereabouts.

"Sir, she just left to take care of a radio tower in an effort to get communications back up. She needs to get to Victus, but she never specified for what...sir," he added the last part nervously as Garrus' mandibles flicked with irritation. He didn't run through hordes of husks and spirits-know-what-else to save her ass just to have her not be there. _So much for the dashing entrance,_ he thought.

He didn't have to wait long however, as the communications flickered back to life and he could hear the camp's barricade lift to let her enter. Still though, it was long enough for his plates to burn in nervous anticipation. He lost her once already, and he couldn't stand the thought of not being there, looking over her 6.

She walked up with a familiar asari, and a stranger human, much too tan and much too..muscled. His human was covered in the electric slime of husks, and the blue slop that had to come from short range blasts to cannibals. Garrus became suddenly aware that Shepard had never truly seen him in a purely turian environment, particularly one where _he_ held authority. What if she preferred him as one to take orders, or what if he was too...alien? How did humans even act when greeting after absences?

After catching the general up to speed as to what they just encountered, the group was able to pinpoint the last known location of Victus.

"I think I can narrow that location down even further," Garrus chimed in before Shepard had a chance to go barreling after the general, "I just saw him and his unit a little under an hour ago. I can take you there,"

"Garrus!" she noticed him from across the holodisplays of the battlefield and crossed the distance with earnest strides before skirting to a stop a foot away. He could see the conflict in her face, displaying exactly what he was feeling. What was the appropriate way to greet each other after what happened? Especially here, where he held some form of authority?

He reached out a hand, taking hers and clasping on with his other. "It's good to see you Shepard,"

Before she could say another word, a signal came from the Normandy of a situation, and it was back to business from there. They fell back into the sync of battle easily, as if they were never apart. Shepard came in close to enemy battalions, while Garrus picked off any that she missed or were out of her line of sight. James, the new human, was easy to work with. He had the hitting power of a shotgun as well, but given Shepard's prowess with her own it seemed redundant, forcing him to use his assault rifle. Though new, it worked well given the variety of enemies they faced, and it absolutely worked in their favor when facing a brute after their barricade collapsed basically on top of it.

Before long they reached Victus, and from there they had no more reason to stay on Menae. After one more long look back to the big burning orange on Palaven, Garrus left his moon and boarded the Normandy.

 _It's good to be home._

" _So there's no way I can convince you to just send a persuasive vid instead?"_

" _Unfortunately, turians usually prefer a more..physical presence," Garrus emphasized the last part as as his talons gently brushed her soft cheek. Spirits, there were so many of those- what were they called? Freckles? He wanted to count them all, wanted to memorize the way her green eyes shown through him with that mischievous grin that knew him too well. How she always did that, could always see right through him with just a look, never ceased to amaze him. He rested his brow against hers, an act that she fondly referred to as "turian kisses"._

" _Hmmm...the way you make it sound, perhaps I have been misidentified as the wrong species," her sweet breath clouded his already troubled senses. "Because you know, Vakarian, I too prefer a more...physical presence," she sighed the last part against the leather dip of his neck. He wondered if she knew how that sent him into a frenzy, but he didn't have to guess for long as her hand caressed the very spot her lips had just rested, causing a low sub-harmonic hum to reverberate from his bare chest._

" _Careful, Shepard," his voice was dark and deep, more tantalizing than intimidating._

" _You should know me better than to think I would be careful. I like things close range, remember?" she struck him with that knowing grin again, baiting him, "Now if you'd excuse me, I have a shower to get to," she didn't even take a second glance as she slid from his embrace in her cabin, turned and went to start the steam from the shower. He sat in a daze on her couch before he got up and followed the trail of clothes._

" _Coming?" she cooed. He was on her before she even had the chance to raise her snarky eyebrow._

Garrus snapped himself back to his senses. Thank the spirits for these damn guns, or he would have nothing to distract himself from these wicked thoughts echoed across his mind. He still had trouble after the missile blast with the numbers, which usually meant a greater need for deeper concentration. He poured himself into his task, as the battery doors hummed open.

A brilliant flash of red gave her away: her strange fringe still fascinated him beyond belief, and he couldn't help but stare in adoration. His eyes met hers, and as they fell they slowly paused on her neck. A pang of guilt filled him completely, particularly given where his thoughts had previously taken him. The memory was quickly buried in his mind, as he tried to focus on the present Shepard standing in front of him now. Their correspondences over the months did not feel awkward, or forced. Perhaps she didn't hate him as much as he thought? _She should. After what I did to her..._

"So I see you have generals saluting you now. I'm surprised I didn't hear 'Vakarian' when I asked who the next Primarch would be," her smile came naturally as she pushed back a curl behind her ear. It had been a long time since she had done that around him, hell, maybe even as far back as the SR-1, maybe? This did nothing to boost his confidence in the awkwardness of the situation.

"Ah, let's not go there. Victus is exactly who you need to get the job done in a time like this. Perhaps a bit, unorthodox, but still," he turned his eyes back to his calibrations, "dependable."

"I happen to know another turian with _strikingly_ similar qualities," she took a step closer to him, placing a cool hand on his gloved ones. "Is someone unfamiliar with customary human reunions?" she teased.

"Hmm," he couldn't help but sigh at her touch. No matter how they last parted, having her back, knowing she was safe here with him, put his mind at ease. Her words hung in the air, almost tangible. _Dependable._ Had she begun to forgive him?

He straightened up and turned to her, still unable to look straight in her piercing eyes. How safe with him was she really? The thought made his bones ache in remembered pain, which unfortunately showed on his face.

"I'm teasing Garrus, honestly," she took his scarred face in her soft palm, "It's just good to see you again," a smile appeared on her perfect full lips. A memory came to him of how soft they felt on his face plates, and suddenly longed for that feeling again.

"Well give me a bottle of cheap wine and some mood music and let me try this again," he quietly chuckled, remembering their first liason together. Shepard couldn't help laughing too, remembering his awkward and fumbling attempt to lighten the mood before confessing his true feelings. He wanted to talk to her about what happened between them before he left, but as she tenderly grazed her pink fingers against his plates, he couldn't bare to trouble her further. He instead decided to switch to a subject both soldiers were more comfortable with: the progress of this war.


	2. Flash Backs

Shepard left the battery with mixed emotions that left her heavy with fatigue. After a quick status report from the newly enhanced EDI (how the hell she was ever going to get used to this sexbot was beyond her, but at least seeing Joker look like a kid eternally locked inside a candy store was reason enough to keep the AI on board) she decided that they only way to rest her otherwise restless thoughts would be to head to her oasis: the cargo bay.

She should've known Vega would've already have claimed her usual work out area; she could hear him groaning his pull up count as soon as the elevator beeped open. Though originally seeking solitude, perhaps she needed some socialization after all.

Vega dropped down from his pull up bar, cracking his neck. Shepard motioned her head towards the sparring mats in the corner, tucked behind crates, and raised her eyebrows in questioning. He nodded, and they took up their stances on the mats.

"So you and that turian have a history, eh Lola?" Vega certainly didn't dance around the subject as he attempted to dance around her punches. Their sparring match didn't even land a single hit before he dove into the subject Shepard was trying to avoid.

"Since we're doling out nicknames, how about I call you 'Bull'? You don't seem to mind butting in and aren't what I'd call," she dodged a clumsy but powerful jab aimed at her jaw, which she easily countered by throwing him off balance and flipping him over onto the mat, back flat, "graceful," she sneered, but offered a hand to pull him up.

"That hurts, Lola. I'm wounded," he feigned a blow to the chest.

"I'm sure your pride will recover in no time, Mr. Vega!" their shuttle pilot called out from under his Kodiak.

They continued their banter, though Vega was careful not to bring up the subject of Garrus again. Shepard made a point of trying to get to know her new crew members, but eventually declined a game of poker as she felt the day's battles begin to wear on her tired frame, enhanced as it was. She got in the elevator and pushed the button that would take her to her cabin.

* * *

The steam didn't take long to fill the small bathroom, as the heat swirled around her, she couldn't help but feel his cool talons gently caress her stomach as he wrapped himself around her. Being shirtless for so long, he was getting cold quickly and she knew the easiest way to warm him again would be with a hot shower. Cold blooded, she remembered him explaining once.

But the thought of being away from him, knowing that she would be grounded soon and he needing to return to his own people, she didn't want to spend even the briefest of moments without him. So naturally, this shower was meant to be shared. His touch was welcome and she backed into him easily. Surprise widened her eyes as she turned around to face him: he undressed so quickly she didn't expect to feel so much of him so soon.

"What is it about you being wet that is so fascinating to me?" he wondered out loud, tracing the water as it fell from her hair to her shoulders...and eventually stopping at her collar bone.

"And what is so fascinating about my squishy shoulders?" she replied his questioning with one of her own, which seemed to embarrass him as he pulled his hand away. She stopped him though, and with her own hand placed his back to his preferred spot, though curiosity soon got the better of her.

She remembered how he always reacted so strongly when she would touch the leather of his unplated neck, particularly when moving to the small dip where it met his shoulder. At first, he would caution her, even take her hands away if she lingered too long. But she knew it pleased him, and wondered why he never gave in to the sensation.

Dr. Solus had suggested pamphlets, even vids, that explained turian mating rituals, courtship practices, even erogenous zones. But it felt too clinical, almost like she was violating his privacy, if she found this information out from anything other than Garrus. She regretted her decision to not investigate further, but thought that this was a good a time as any to find out for herself.

Slowly, cautiously, she brought her hand to his scarred plate. He leaned into her touch, opening up a window for her to bring her lips to his. Methodically she worked her hand from his scar to his mandible, grazing her finger against its hard length, as her other hand dangled gently behind his neck. She had to stretch to reach up that far, tall as he was. This seemed to please him as he sank deeper into her kiss, working his talons carefully against her lower back. A deep rumble could be heard coming from his chest, tight as she was now against him, the vibration could be felt in the pit of her own belly. This gave her courage to move her hand further down to the sweet spot of his neck. The rumble turned into a satisfied growl, sub harmonics growing deeper and awakening an ache inside her.

"Careful."

It was almost a reflex now.

"Not my style, Vakarian," her white teeth flashed a devilish grin as her mouth found the forbidden dip of unclaimed territory. It would be claimed now, and she would see him totally come undone at last.

He had always been so buttoned up, so careful with her before. She knew he was worried to hurt her with his hard plating and sharp features, particularly when up against her tender flesh. But now the humming in his chest grew near-feral as his mouth gaped open, head reared back in delight.

"Shepard…" he pleaded, his control growing thin. She was playing with fire, but she didn't care. She wanted him, needed him to completely give in to her. After all he had done for her through these crazy years, her desire for him was unrelenting. No matter how much she thought she was ready to play with this fire, she wasn't ready for the burn.

His talons suddenly were not satisfied with staying safely on her lower back. One clutched her hair, the other held a firm grip on her ass. She yelped in surprise, but did not budge from her position. This drove him into a frenzy, sinking his lower talons deeper, which only strengthened her resolve as a slight sigh escaped, betraying her. The growls grew deeper. A hunger was filling in with the steam.

Suddenly she was flipped, pinned against the shower wall. She could feel him against her backside. All of him. His talons grew bolder and deeper against her skin, tiny droplets of blood spilling in their wake. This did nothing to calm him, now ravenous. He began to bring a talon close to her own neck, when it snapped.

She saw the blood pooling in with the water. Her body rigid, she could not hide her panic from him now. Her heart cold in her chest, arms instinctively wrapping around herself. The pressure he applied before was now gone, he backed away abruptly, quickly fighting the haze that clouded his reasoning.

"No…" she muttered meekly, "No, no no, please no…" the shower hid her tears, but the water did no favors for her sanity. She slid to the floor, curling in on herself both physically and mentally.

"Spirits, Shepard, I-" his apology was cut short by her choking, labored breaths. He quickly turned the water off, running to get a towel to drape over her. At this she completely came undone.

"NO! GET OFF-GET OFF ME!" she swatted, rather, punched his arms away at the touch of the towel against her. Her eyes grew wide in terror as her mind betrayed her. She couldn't let him see her like this, he couldn't be here. " **LEAVE!** "

He backed out of the washroom slowly, whispering her name with a look on his face she didn't recognize, but was sure he was completely repulsed. He couldn't be here. She hadn't gone back here in so long.

 _Rain dripped down her flame colored hair, blood pooling at a puddle, mixed with water, at her bare feet. Her eyes focused there, afraid to look up to the horror in front of her 16 year old eyes. Irina...no….her mind could not contain what had happened. An Alliance soldier draped a blanket across her shoulders, offering her a smile._

" _Hey, it's gonna be ok now, we gotcha, it's alright," he tried to get her to untense her muscles, but they wouldn't budge. The weight of the blanket now on top of her, she now went from rigid to rabid. Her long nails lashing at everything near her, teeth glaring, a blue light suring across her skin making everything tingle in a sickening pleasure._

" _Holy hell," a soldier gaped, getting out of her reach, "Someone get a sedative!"_

 _His words barely escaped his mouth as the full might of her biotics surged at him, sending him flying and screaming. Her attention on the danger in front, she did not noticed the first soldier with the blanket come up behind her, sending a sting in her neck, her eyes heavy._

" _Thank you…" her eyes went black._

* * *

Any other night, and Shepard would have called Garrus up to her cabin, thinking of some ridiculous excuse to have him near her. But tonight, remembering their last encounter in full glory, she knew she couldn't face him. They hadn't talked about it since, and she was convinced it was because he was so repulsed by her break in psyche. Sure she had broke down in front of him before, but never had she went back _there_ in front of him.

If someone read her files, they would see her place of origin as "COLONIST", leaving out the specific and gruesome details of exactly which colony and for exactly what reason she left. She enlisted the day she turned 18, and never looked back. Her career was spotless, eager to give back to the Alliance that saved her two years before. These were the people that finally trained her biotics, though it took time for her to actually use them, still ashamed at the damage her raw power had caused. She poured herself into her training, treating it as her own type of therapy, which was better by all means than the asari run nut-house they put her in. At 16 she was still underage to join, and knowing that she was exposed to some sort of trauma as they pulled her out of the grips of slavers, they put her in the care of the best place for her to recover. She knew the Alliance would look bad for not taking care of the pirates who abducted an entire colony to slavery, with only a single survivor, so they countered this image by assigning one of the soldiers who saved her to be there during her time with the asari.

Kaiden Alenko was the one who finally coaxed her biotics out of her shell, telling her the story of Rahna and how he too was ashamed of his power. She felt comfort in sharing this strange burden in a small way with another human, though she could never reveal the truest cause of shame that these biotic gifts held for her. The asari were informed of her raw, unfocused but lethal power that she displayed during her rescue and had all failed in getting her to use it again, safely. It took Kaiden and his story, in the shade of a secluded tree, for her to feel the blue electricity pulse against her skin again.

He was with her throughout her training, throughout her first missions. She knew he cared for her, but she also knew that he respected the fact that she was too damaged to reciprocate what she felt. It wasn't that he was older-he was only two years her senior- it was that she was terrified to let anyone in. Losing everyone before your eyes had a funny way of changing a person, she laughed to him once.

It was during that talk that Kaiden had got his first migraine from his implant. It sent him to his knees, hands clawing at his head, whimpering out. It was this migraine that made him get benched in the medbay as Shepard was assigned to her first mission without him on Elysium. The Batarians there did not stand a chance against her wrath, which in turn earned her a medal and a ticket into the N7 program. It wasn't until Anderson contacted her about the Normandy shakedown run that she finally saw him again. Kaiden still pined for her, but kept his distance as the mission progressively got a lot more complicated.

As new members of the team came aboard, Shepard found a way to connect to every one of them, alien as they were. With Tali, it was her fascination with her new surroundings and apparent homesickness that sparked a protective spirit in Shepard as she quickly became a big sister to this pilgrim Quarian. With Wrex, his hard shell was easy to crack under the charming skills of conversation that Shepard would open onto him. She invoked a big, protective, papa bear of a Krogan without even meaning to, and she loved the big guy all the more for it. It was easy to connect with Liara, familiar with asari as bringing her back from the brink, she engrossed herself in their traditions, customs, and even language. The bookish scientist took great interest in her as well, though many assumed because of Shepard's contact with the Prothean beacon.

But it was Garrus that truly brought her alive. She had never really known many turians, and only knew of their species what her training had taught her as necessary. This made her nervous around him, uneasy as she was crossing into unfamiliar territory with this new alien. She wanted to be respectful to this new teammate, terrified to offend him knowing of their frightening prowess and quick, lingering tempers. To her relief, he wasn't a very good turian, and quickly became one of her closest allies.

She couldn't help but bring him on almost every important mission, from Therum to Virmire, and then she would find herself debriefing her stresses with him, laughing at how quickly missions could go south.

There was one night in the cargo bay, him working on the Mako as she sat on a stack of tires, handing him tools, where she finally confessed her unease about him being a turian. He was baffled, even removed himself out completely from under the rover her was working on to look at her, a smile forming by his mandibles.

"No I'm serious! I've heard all these stories of these vicious space lobsters with terrifying tempers that could claw through an entire platoon- and one was coming on my ship! What the hell was I supposed to think?" she couldn't help but laugh at herself as she said it, as she could feel the deep hum of his own amusement as he sat beside her.

"Well I hate to break your well reasoned view of my species, but unfortunately that isn't really the case," he still chuckled as he leaned back, his ribs sore from laughing.

"Isn't really? So it's kinda true? I'm not crazy!"

"Well, see," his laugh subsided, a look of...was it embarrassment? spreading over his face. "Turians don't go into full on rage fests. Otherwise, we would be no better than the blood crazed krogan. But when it comes to our bondmates, well that's a different story,"he twiddled his fingers, looking at his hands. It was the first time he ever mentioned anything about turian relationships. Come to think of it, it was the first time he mentioned _any_ type of relationship. Something about that sent a wave of heat over her face, betraying her. She was glad he wasn't looking at her to see it.

"What do you mean?" she pried. She couldn't help it, she had to know everything about this alien, no matter the embarrassment.

"You have to understand that bonding for turians is deeper than your human infatuations-it's a biological change. The pheromones from females create this change for the males and the same for the other way around. The males become protective, possessive even. Losing a bondmate is like losing yourself, I've seen turians break from that before. The link between the two is so strong, there isn't going back,"

"Wait, so no casual flings?"

"I'm sounding way too clinical," they both laughed, "No we definitely can keep it casual. In fact it's ah... pretty common to blow off steam by taking it back to someone's quarters. But if it's taken further, if it's a real relationship, then that's when there is a true bonding and everything is rainbows," he suddenly realized that he had never shared this information with any alien before, and the fact of which made it hard to look at this human sitting beside him. But he could feel the warmth of her smile even if he couldn't see it, and her steady heartbeat gave him the courage to look up.

"So this rage...you just get overjoyed with a good lay and go on a rampage? So everyone can know about it?" he gave her a playful shove at that remark, knowing she was curious even if she was joking.

"As macho as that sounds, it's more primal than that. You probably know from your training that turians have heightened senses?" she nodded, suddenly aware of the sound her heartbeat was making in her ears. "Since we are bonded, we get this sense whenever our mate is in danger. If that is the case, then that is when mayhem ensues," he hoped that this human was done with her uncomfortable questioning.

"Are you two fairy princesses done talking about bondage yet? I thought krogans were kinky!" a deep voice could be heard from across the cargo bay, immediately recognizable as Wrex.

"Now Wrex, I thought you were going to keep our dirty deep secrets between the two of us," Shepard jokingly cooed back. With that, they all three erupted into laughter that continued until they suited up and boarded the Citadel.


	3. Respect

Of course they couldn't board the station for more than ten minutes before thirty different people needed sixty different things. After a much needed drink, Wrex graciously buying after losing a bet that Garrus would never speak of again, the crew took the elevator from C-SEC down to the docking bay. It was then that Shepard's comm crackled, stating that a situation arose outside the Normandy that needed her attention. _Here we go again._

They got off the elevator to find two Normandy officers keeping distance from a set of crates off the far end of the dock. Before she even had to ask for the situation, the officer with the visor briefed her.

It was a girl from her colony, Mindoir. She escaped the slavers and was here, terrified. A stone gaze took over Shepard then, as she obliged to help get close enough to the girl to sedate her.

"GET BACK! What-what are you?" the girl stammers as she draws a pistol, one she wrestled off one of the officers in the struggle to get her to calm down.

"My name is Shepard. I am with the Alliance. Can you tell me your name?" try as she might to distance herself from the girl in front of her, the look in her eyes was familiar to Shepard, hardening her chest.

"Animals don't get names. The masters put their symbols on her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it," the pain in front of her is almost too much to bear.

"You're _not_ an animal," Shepard replies indignantly, "Think back. Your parents. What did they call you? Do you remember them?"

"She remembers a lot of things…" the girl went into vivid snippets of horror, each new one allowing Shepard to take a step closer and finally put the girl, Talitha, into a sleep that she knew would be the first troubled steps of healing.

The officers ran up as soon as Talitha hit the ground, suggesting they get her to immediate care.

"Take her to Anaris station, but do not alert the Alliance that you are coming. I want you both to see to her personally, do _not_ let her out of your sights. Stay with her as long as she needs you,"

"But Commander!-"

"I gave an order!" She reeled on the officer before she turned and trudged into the airlock, the turian and krogan following behind.

He knew she would be there, even if it was 0300, there wasn't a chance she would be sleeping after what he saw on the docking bay. Coming prepared, Garrus brought the "hard stuff" as Alenko called it, and quietly sat across the dark faced commander. Wordlessly, he poured her a glass and slid it in front of her.

"If I didn't know better, Vakarian, I'd say you were trying to liquor me up," Shepard held the glass up in front of her, a cheers, before taking an impressively large swig.

"Only to get you laid, I assure you," he raised his glass, imitating her strange human custom, and took a drink of his own dextro "hard stuff". "Someone had to do it, ugly as you are," a shit eating grin couldn't hide behind his glass as she feigned hurt and gave him a wink.

"Squishy as I may be, space lobster, I am a goddess among human standards. Redheads are so rare, we are practically unicorns!"

"I won't even try to pretend to know what a 'unicorn' is," he took another swig from his glass, his attention now brought to the brilliant red in front of him, "I still don't see the fascination you humans have with the different shades of your fringes. They all look like...string or something," his words were harder to come by, so he drank more slowly.

"You know you want to touch it," she baited, but he didn't budge. She batted her eyelashes and pouted her lips, making her look so ridiculous he obliged if only to make her stop.

His brow plates rose, eyes wide.

"Soft, right?"

"It's…" he left his talons in her hair, caressing through it mindlessly dazed by this new substance. The new motion of it released a scent of mint into the air, intoxicating. He abruptly removed his hand before he got lost in this new sensation. _What the hell, Vakarian?_

"It wasn't always long enough to touch you know," an indifferent glaze replaced her usual smile, darkening her eyes.

"Rebellious youth? Why Shepard, I didn't know you had it in you," Garrus teased her trying to bring back that smile, faintly succeeding.

"It wasn't exactly by choice," Shepard giggled through her words, "Slavers typically don't like slaves to have hair, it spreads lice. But mine was red, it made me stand out. They let me keep it short," she didn't bat an eye as she said this, leaving him astonished at her strength but ashamed for bringing it up.

"Ah..I uh, heard, but I didn't know if it was true or.." he met her gaze, clumsily.

"What, that I was a slave? Well try as the Alliance might to say otherwise, it's true. For a year of my life that's all I knew, that's all I was," she replied lightly, emotionless, taking drinks from her glass.

"Wait a year? But the report said-"

"That the Alliance got there just in time? That miraculously they were able to save a single person, while the rest of the colony disappeared into Batarian space? That's only partially true. Before today, I thought I was the only survivor of the Batarians, as they successfully killed as many slaves as possible to make a faster escape. But the reports make it sound like as soon as the Batarians landed on Mindoir, the Alliance pounced and saved us all. The truth is, we were such a small colony that no one even noticed we were missing. The only reason that the Alliance stumbled there at all is because they were somehow in the area. I wasn't exactly in a position to question my rescuers, however," she giggled into her glass, pouring another.

A _year_ as a slave. He couldn't imagine a single day in the conditions he had heard too much about from the more gruesome Extranet vids. But a year. And she could only have been a child, seeing this as what the world was. A sour taste filled his mouth, and not from the liquor. If he didn't loathe batarians before, he certainly did now.

"If you want to talk about it Shepard..." Garrus reached a hand over to Shepard's, leaving it there as she began to speak.

"I never..I try not to go back there, you know? The only people who knew this about me usually were too embarrassed to talk about it, so I just, I don't know. Moved on I guess," her hand didn't flinch under his, rather she put her other on top of his, a sign of companionship.

"Or too concerned getting in your pants to risk your wrath?" his remark about Alenko made them both laugh louder than they should have at those wee hours of the morning. That was the the first of many late night debriefs in the mess hall.

Since that night, a respect for his commander welled inside of Garrus with a fierceness he couldn't explain. He came to realize that she truly was the very best humanity had to offer, fully living up to her potential as a Spectre.

It wasn't until his own Spectre training that he realized how much deeper his respect ran for her. The Normandy crew had mostly parted ways, himself included, as he went back to the Citadel, inspired to fulfill his dream at last. It was Shepard that convinced him that he should train, her words that echoed in his ear after she talked him into sparing Dr. Saleon on his ship filled with sick experiments. He didn't expect that from her, given her past, that she would show mercy. But this human was always full of surprises as she said astutely "Just because you have the power to end things quickly and cleanly, doesn't mean that's the right call. Hell, at least this way we got a moving target to keep you on your toes!" she was referring to the fact that after they decided to take him in rather than kill him, he pulled a gun to escape, resulting in his demise. It was that night after sparring out some residual stress when she told him to go back to training and become a Spectre.

A call rang in as he prepared for his morning routine, but he didn't get a chance to even think about opening it before a voice came from the other room of his apartment.

"Don't open that, princess," it was Wrex, holding what appeared to be rincol.

"Wrex wha-"

"You're going to want to sit down," Wrex's usually neutral expression was cold, and was harder to read than usual. Could a krogan face even be read? Garrus eyed the empty glasses as Wrex slid them across the table in front of him, motioning the turian to have a seat. The drinks were poured and Wrex already had his first shot before he spoke again. "That message you just got is from Anderson. You're not going to want to hear this from him," this made Garrus even more wary, still sitting without moving.

"The Normandy was shot down by an unknown enemy. It crash landed on some shit stain planet," Wrex took another shot of his drink, shaking his head as his throat felt the burning liquid slide down. An unspoken question lingered in the air between them, turning the silence heavy.

"She didn't make it, Garrus,"

Everything stood still.

He took off his visor for the first time in years. In that moment, he didn't want to be a Spectre, he didn't want to be a C-Sec agent, hell he didn't even want to be a turian. He just wanted to grieve for his friend- the person he respected above all others.

He reached across the table for his glass.


	4. Hangovers and Goodbyes

Wrex didn't let him put his drink down for the next two weeks. He saw the pain in the poor bastard's eyes when he told the news. The look haunted even his old bones, even after all the shit he'd seen. He knew this was the look of a man who might just try to follow after Shepard, and Wrex-though he'd never admit it out loud- couldn't stand the thought of losing another of his very few friends. Damn this turian.

"Y-You know, I didn't even _like_ Tali if it wasn't for Sh-for her. She was like this big sister for the quarian and with all that love you had to love her too, right?" Garrus was well into the depths of his drunkenness, every day getting more nostalgic, but still unable to say Shepard's name.

"Hell at least she didn't sign you up to _train_ the poor kid. How do you think she knew how to even point a shotgun if not for _this_ master marksman?" as if to make his point, Wrex took a swig from his glass, but unfortunately missed his mouth entirely. He threw his glass on the floor, shattering it for good measure.

"I thought she knew how to shoot before we picked up your big grumpiness?"

"What? No not... _her…_ I meant the quarian. Keep up. She was too damn nervous. I had to show her how to even hold the thing so the recoil wouldn't make her wet herself," Wrex chuckled to himself at the memory of the frail little Tali squeaking in surprise the first time she fired his gun.

"As I recall, she still wet herself around you," the glaze in Garrus' eyes weren't as heavy as he spoke, so Wrex offered him another drink

"If I had a credit for every time I heard that..."

"What, you could finally pay for drinks?" they both laughed at that, clinking their glasses together like they used to do with Shepard in the mess hall after tougher missions. Wrex broke all three of their glasses the first time.

Soon Wrex knew it was time to sober up, as the funeral drew near, knowing that Garrus would want to be in the right state of mind to say goodbye. It took about three cold showers and finally a trip to Dr. Michel to get all the liquor out of his system. Wrex just needed a good nap for one of his livers to kick in and fix him up, so he wasn't sure what to do with a drunk turian. The doctor scolded both of them, said something about alcohol poisoning, and restricted Garrus to bed rest for a day.

"We'll get you out of here. Alcohol won't kill you if you've got the quads to soak it up right," try as Wrex might to cheer up his friend, his face was still deep into a trashcan. Dr. Michel was out of earshot, so he began to verbalize his escape idea until Garrus held up a hand.

"What day is it?"

"It's today," given any other context it would've been a smartass remark, but Garrus knew exactly what he meant. It was time to see Shepard again, for the last time.

Dr. Michel overheard, and given her already growing affinity for the turian, offered him a few pills to cure his raging hangover. Wrex chuckled, pondering aloud what hell could've been raised if they had those when he was a teenager.

"I don't think I want to imagine you as a teenager, Wrex. No offense, but you're ugly enough as it is. Seeing you go through puberty…" he gagged, holding his stomach as the pill's effects hadn't kicked in yet, "well it might be a bit much to bear,"

"Ha! Spoken like a true outsider. One day I'll take you back to Tuchanka and put you through our rite of passage. You have just taken your first steps to becoming a true krogan, so why not seal the deal?"

"You mean all it takes is surviving ryncol to become a krogan?" he sat up, gingerly beginning to get dressed for the upcoming event.

"I said a _true_ krogan. Any pyjack humper can claim to be a krogan. But it isn't until his insides turn to molten lava and he survives the trial till he earns the respect of his clan,"

"I'm flattered, Wrex. I've always wanted a clan. I was getting so tired of those pyjacks," Garrus snickered as the krogan helped to pull him up off the bed.

"We better get going, Ugly. It's going to be hell trying to flag a car in our getup. Especially with all the crap they have planned for the ceremony," he hated to bring it up, to end the last chance for his friend to feel happiness. But it was true, the Alliance wanted to show their respects for their most honored hero, and the Council wanted to make a show for saving their lives. Whatever. He just wanted to pay his respects to his battle sister, and make sure the turian didn't kill anyone- or himself- before it was all over.

Dr. Michel gave them both some more of those magic pills before they left, and Wrex could've sworn that she let her hand stay a little long when she handed them to Garrus. She directed them from the clinic to the nearest rapid transit terminal, where the unlikely duo hailed a cab with surprising ease.

The ceremony was held in the presidium, and it almost wasn't big enough to hold the crowd gathered. Everyone wanted to get one last look at the hero of the citadel, even though most of them had never met her or cared for her. Not like he did. Not like her crew.

The quarian was there, along with the humans from the ship.

"Looks like Liara isn't going to make it," Garrus mumbled. He didn't notice the absence of the shy asari until Garrus brought it to his attention, but now that he said it, it seemed odd for her not to be there.

"Probably stuck in some digsite. Give it a week, we'll be getting a call that she's stuck in a crumbling ruin," Garrus nodded, but didn't respond. It was almost time to begin, and it was time to take a seat.

Given that they were with her in her final moments, the Normandy crew were seated front row, able to see every puffed up politician give their speeches over heroism and sacrifice. Something Wrex bet none of them knew the first thing about. Songs and poetry readings didn't suit his battle sister, and the crew knew it: he could tell by how they squirmed in their seats with irritation. Finally it was time to pay their personal respects. It was time to say good bye.

He saw the turian walk up to the casket, resting his right hand there with the other covering his face. It felt like an eternity of silence as he stood like that, displaying what everyone was feeling. Wrex debated going up to him for support when he finally turned around. His eyes were dry, but hollow. The next time Wrex saw him, his visor was back but the turian from the SR-1 was gone.

He left Vakarian behind along with Citadel space as he took off for some pisshole called Omega.


	5. New Powers

_***Author's Note:**_

 _ **This chapter is a bit of a filler. Sorry about that. I will work on this later, but I had to move on to the good bits while I could! Check back later for edits :)**_

* * *

" **MISS ME**?"

The doors to his sniper den burst open, wailing mercs dead or dying below. A helmeted figure kicked her way in, a shotgun in one hand, a salarian liver in the other. He couldn't believe it. His rifle dropped as he groped his helmet off, and before he even realized what he was doing he was closing the distance between them in long, swift strides.

Shepard just had time to take off her own helmet as Garrus swooped her up with an alarming ease, a hug so crushing she dropped the green liver in her hand.

"Garrus," she nuzzled into him as she spoke his name, not even caring that the action was more intimate than she intended. She knew in that moment that _anyone_ who tried to touch _her_ turian, had to go through her. And judging by her newly heightened biotics, that wasn't going to happen soon.

* * *

Garrus was surprised by these new powers, almost seeming like they had no limits as they missioned aboard the new SR-2. He saw her hurdle herself at her enemies, covering the battlefield in a single blast and sending mercs flying. He had to admit, it was something to see. He watched her as she placed herself in the thick of the fighting, reckless as she would easily get pinned down from all sides. Seeing these situations made his plates itch uncomfortably in his chest, and fire his rifle at a much faster rate.

It was on Illium, a particular hangar bay was loading red sand right where they needed to get some critical intel on the location of some asari mutant. Shepard could pronounce the correct term beautifully, like it was her native tongue. He wondered what else her tongue could do, right before a crash from overhead jolted him back to the fight.

Shepard had charged in ahead, sending shockwaves at the perfect line of yellow clad mercs at her 3. Another was coming up on her 8, but Garrus took him down before the slime could touch his trigger. It was this shot that distracted him from the head merc hidden behind a crate. She sent a cargo container shooting out in Shepard's direction, but she wasn't fast enough to roll away into cover. The container was filled to the brim with red sand, and the commotion of the wreckage sent the sickeningly gaseous fumes engrossing Shepard, stuck in her cover and blinding her exits. He didn't even think as he leaped out of cover and bolted towards her, blind to everything but the fiery human engulfed in toxic gas.

"SHEPARD!"

A red haze filled his vision. He groped, clawed his way to her. She was lying motionless, her arms twisted in sickening directions. He scooped her up without thinking, cradling her in his arms, shaking. The gas around him reminded him he had to move, he had to get her out of here. This purpose was all that kept his sanity in check.

"Garrus, we have to get her to Chakwas immediately, you know what this stuff-" the human with the thick accent tried to remind him what he already learned about this substance from his time on Omega. He knew all too well what could happen to biotics exposed to too much of this filth.

"JOKER GET US A DAMN SHUTTLE," Garrus roared into the comm, holding a limp commander across his arms. He looked at her then and he knew he couldn't lose her again. This couldn't happen. He had to get her to Chakwas, and he had to do it NOW.

It felt like eternity before the shuttle came up and brought them back to the Normandy. Garrus carried her all the way to the medbay, but refused to leave even as Chakwas took her and assessed her condition. Bruises were already forming on every inch of skin visible, some of her armor cracked. He could hear her pained breathing, but it was much too faint. He was blinded with fear. He knew he was in the doctor's way but he couldn't move his legs to leave.

 _I should have seen that damn asari, I should have taken her out before..before..._ The image of her under the container haunted him, ached his plates. Seeing her now, he couldn't…

The good doctor knew better than to let the turian see the procedures that needed to happen, which required her to find a reason to get him to leave. He was sent to retrieve Mordin for some extra hands, though the medbay doors deftly shut before he could re enter.

He paced. He didn't know how long it was before Mordin reappeared.

"Condition stable. Staying in medbay to monitor effects of red sand. Nasty stuff. Surprisingly little effect however. Should be out of system by morning if calculations correct. Given cybernetics, should heal nicely. Similar to krogran redundant system," with his last sentence he placed a knowing hand on Garrus' shoulder before he turned to leave. The medbay door was still open, and welcome or not, he wasn't leaving his human's side.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting in the chair next to her bed before he finally heard her eyes flutter, her heartbeat more normal in her chest. She cooed softly in her sleep, muttering his name before she drifted off again in a sweet smile.


	6. Medbay Talks

When she finally awoke, she felt Garrus' hard talons against her hand. She took the chance to study them: he hardly ever took off his gloves, and seeing these predatory markings up close was...fascinating. Hard plates acted as knuckles, though the palms were a softer, tan leather. An image of those leathery hands caressing her cheek suddenly invaded her. _What the hell kind of pain killers did they give me?_ As her eyes darted up in an effort to snap back to reality, she finally got a look at the turian sitting beside her. He wasn't asleep as she had first thought, rather, he was very much awake and drilling through her with a ferocity she had never seen before.

"Damn Vakarian, you look like you need whatever they're giving me more than I do," Shepard stumbled through her words, the red sand still clouding her mind and making her lips heavier to move.

"One of us has to remain with reality, and it certainly isn't going to be you," he almost hissed through his teeth, some rage flashing in his piercing blue eyes. God she never noticed how... _blue_ they were before. Comparing them to earth's oceans always felt like a corny cliche, particularly since she had never been there to see them, but she imagined that large bodies of water could never compare to the depths of this turian's gaze. But his words were fierce, masking a bitterness that she had to investigate.

"Ouch, and where did this come from?"

"Do you even realize how incredibly _lucky_ you were back there? That crate could have easily crushed you, Shepard," his eyes were unrelenting, holding her hostage.

"Oh Garrus," she smiled, "Why would I ever need luck when I have a turian at my 6?" her head cocked in coyness.

"A turian can only do so much...can only lose so much…" the last part was whispered as he turned away from her briefly, stroking her hand under his, "You have to be more careful. If nothing else, then for my own peace of mind. Please," the last plea was coupled by his hand squeezing hers and the return of his deep gaze.

"I can't promise to be careful when it comes to defending my team. I don't know, when I go into these fights, I just see blue. My biotics take control of me, and I cut loose. You know, sometimes I don't even remember how I got to one end of the battlefield to the other. There's pieces of the fight that I just don't remember...Have I ever told you that I don't have an implant?" her words were flowing uncontrollably. Her brain still in a haze, she couldn't get her slurred words out fast enough.

"Wait, what? How is that even possible?" he let go of her hand, studying her.

"When I was on Mindoir, the batarians didn't just single me out for my hair color. I was born with biotic abilities, but they didn't manifest until I was 15, in their camps. One of the nastier of the bastards had me and my little sister in a cage….

 _The electric bars swung open, footsteps echoing nearer. She wrapped her arms around a sleeping Irina, praying she could stay asleep for what she was sure would come next. They hadn't had any contact with anyone since transferred to this new pen, which almost never boded well._

 _A whistle, a tune she did not recognize. Footsteps louder, closer. Her arms squeezed tighter._

" _I don't remember giving permission to sleep," the voice came from the footsteps, a Master appeared._

" _Please, she's been sick. I'll do whatever you need me t-" a slap silenced her and knocked her grip from Irina._

" _Animals don't speak! And useless animals get put down," his footsteps got closer to Irina, now awake and terrified. No, she shouldn't have woke up. He pulled a knife from his side. She jumped on his back, tackled him but the knife did not come free from his grip. A pain in her leg. Rage._

 _She took the knife from her leg and slashed the Master's face, nicking an eye. But she wasn't fast enough. He reared back, and a full fist knocked into her face. She was on the ground and dizzy. Too dizzy to get up as the Master moved to Irina. She moved to stand, but her leg gave out from under her. It was too late. The knife made its way to Irina and it was over._

 _Blue haze._

 _A force came from her skin that blasted the master through the bars, breaking him. She crawled to Irina, holding her, blue, crying._

"They caught me like that, and seeing the biotic field still around me it didn't take long to put two and two together. I was in an observation room from then on, until the Alliance showed up and got me out. When I went through training and I finally used my biotics again, I could do everything I needed to without an implant, so they just assumed I already had one," she felt her mouth moving but didn't even realize that she told Garrus her most private memory until it was too late.

"So your biotics automatically send you into a battle rage? Like your body is trying to protect you from the pain of your memory of Irina?" she was shocked to see how calm he was, how unrepulsed his reaction was.

"A battle rage?"

"Our ancestors had to deal with something like that. Before modernized weapons, turians fought mostly with our natural weapons," he raised his hands, twiddling his talons, "This made most go into a battle rage, that left them a terror on the field but with little to no memory of what happened afterwards. Once those became obsolete, we mostly evolved out of it. Except for the ah... _exception_ ," he glanced down, remembering his own story he shared on the SR-1.

"Well then the answer to our little problem is easy, isn't it?" he raised a brow curiously at her response, "I just need to evolve out of it!" He couldn't help but to chuckle at the direction she took.

"Yeah we'll have Mordin harvest some of my tissue and make a 'cure' for you. Hell, it might even make you better looking and your jokes more bearable," that shit eating half grin came over him.

"Someone has to make you look good," Shepard tried to laugh, but a new round of painkillers were flooding into her system, her eyes no match to the weight they brought.

 _A more turian Shepard...now there's a thought._ Garrus slunk back into his chair, his dreams venturing to places that left his mandibles sore the next morning from grinning.


	7. Burning Love

"Oh eat my _entire ass,_ Tuchanka!" it was hard to tell which was louder: Shepard's bellowing or Grunt's ridiculous cackling at the sight of a massive, angry, thresher maw.

"Just like old times, Shepard!" Garrus couldn't help himself but laugh at the situation they were in: a krogan going through puberty by completing some ridiculous rite of passage. And somehow he was lucky enough to be a part of this whole shit show.

"Are you _kidding_ me? We had a Mako then! With CANONS!" she barely yelled the last bit out before she had to roll around one of the structurally unsound pillars within their small fighting arena. The maw spewed a blast of toxic their way, smashing into a crate and disintegrating it with acid.

Garrus motioned to the crate, "Your driving was more dangerous than this mess, trust me!" he yelled over his shoulder before lining the maw up in his crosshairs, firing a shot between what he guessed to be its eyes. A shrieking squirm, and the damn thing was underground again, the whole area shuddering as it moved beneath them.

"Great, now you just made it mad!" she yelled out, still behind cover, as flaming screeching creatures came at them from both sides. "Grunt and I will finish these bastards off, you keep the heat on Big Bertha up there!" and with that, she was off in a whirlwind of blue biotics, Grunt's victorious laughing carrying even over the screeching of the dying creatures. But no matter how accurately Garrus lined up his shots-eyes, head, mouth- the massive maw kept diving back under the earth only to re submerge itself, spitting acid and disintegrating their cover. He knew if this kept up much longer, their cover growing thin, there was very little hope of leaving this place.

"Screw this," Shepard pulled out her new missile launcher from its place on her back, and rolled out of cover as Garrus yelled her name in protest. He felt the hum of her biotics ignite as she barrolled herself towards the thresher maw in the even thinking twice, Garrus was running after her, intent on not repeating their last battle.

Just as she got into a good range and pulled the trigger, the maw reared back to spit out one last blast before succumbing to the final, fatal wound. The missile found its target easily, but Garrus tackled Shepard out of the way before the ball of acid spit made its way to her.

He looked down awkwardly as he saw that he was completely on top of her, arms on either side of her shoulders, his back shielding her from whatever fuckery was being unleashed on this forsaken planet. He was close enough to smell her red hair through her helmet, mint with...well, something was obviously burnt.

"I'm flattered, Vakarian, but this seems hardly the place," Shepard teased as she laughed up at him, but made no room to move out until she smelled the burning as followed her nose, sniffing conspicuously as she arrived at the culprit: she couldn't stop herself from falling to her knees, rolling into a ball, and laughing until tears streamed.

"What is so funn-" he was cut short as a squad of krogan arrived at the arena, threatening to end Grunt's rite a bit early. The situation seemed serious enough to him, but for Spirits only know why, Shepard and Grunt thought it was a great time to make jokes.

"Well I'd hate for us to get _burned_ from this later.." she sneered, turning to Grunt as they stood before the squad.

A deep rolling laughter escaped Grunt, "That'd be a real pain in the _ass!"_

They both would have doubled over in their laughing had the other krogan not taken it all as an insult and began the attack. Garrus dashed into cover, making his way a bit further back to line up a better shot. It was when he was running when he noticed it: the acid from the maw burned away his armor. Right over his ass.

"Next time I'm letting you get burned!" he bellowed after Shepard, laughing as she charged through an unsuspecting krogan.

When they returned to the disaster of the Urdnot encampment, Wrex nearly fell off his throne when he saw them. "Grunt, you are now of clan Urdnot. May your new clan cause you less shame than these clowns!" he barked at them, slapping his knee.

"'Oh Garrus, you saved me from that giant thresher maw, how can I ever repay you? You were so brave, I wouldn't be here without you!'" he mocked Shepard in his most feminine voice he could muster, only making the rest of them double over even more.

"Let's get back to the ship before Raincloud catches a cold," she said as she motioned back towards it. She assured Wrex they would be back soon, as Mordin had important business on Tuchanka as well.

* * *

She had to follow him all the way to the medbay to make sure he actually went, knowing that if he didn't get it looked at that the pain would soon become unbearable. Dr. Chakwas took one glance at the situation and gave a look of _you've got to be kidding me_ before she turned to get some medi gel and bandages, effectively leaving Shepard and Garrus alone, him lying with his chest against the table.

"So...enjoying the view?" he tilted his head in time to see her shake her head, rolling her eyes.

"You know we usually end up in a buttload of trouble but this...this takes the cake," she patted his arm in mock sympathy.

"I don't think I can do any better than that one unfortunately," he turned his head back, looking at the pillow under his mandibles. A show of defeat. "I'm going to have to sit the next one out, aren't I?"

"I'm not sure you'll be doing much _sitting_ anytime soon, but...yeah. I need you at your best. I can't worry about you seducing all the krogans on this planet while I'm trying to get a job done," she winked, so he knew she was teasing but it still hurt knowing he wouldn't be there.

"So then who is going to save _your_ ass?"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head," she stood up, placing a kiss on his forehead.

 _What the hell did I just do?_

She turned and left without a word.

* * *

 _What the hell was that?_

Despite his obvious pain in his lower regions, Garrus couldn't stop the heat that was left burning on his brow plates. _Did she just..._ _ **kiss**_ _me?_ He looked at his hands and flexed them to make sure he wasn't dreaming. They seemed real enough...maybe this was real. Maybe she actually shared what he had been feeling well up inside him since seeing her again on Omega. He'd seen vids of this curious human show of affection, this _is_ how they showed affection, right? The way her hair smelled of mint when he wrapped her up in his arms, the way it felt when he ran his fingers through it back on the SR-1. The way he thought of her as his world went black after the missile hit him, wishing for just one more chance with her.

The flirting escalated after that. Soon the dirty jokes lingered in the air a bit longer, sideways glances were caught more often, casual brushes became lingering touches. Inseparable as they were before, now their feelings were unstoppable.


	8. Back to ME3

"Commander? I've detected something strange that I think might interest you,"

Specialist Traynor's cool voice broke Shepard of her daze, slinging her back to the present of reality. She nodded for the Specialist to continue, which unfolded into a situation in which it seemed like Grissom Academy was under siege by Cerberus. Fury sparked inside her gut as she thought of the different reasons why the Illusive Man would want to invade a station full of biotic kids, but she wasn't going to waste time sitting on her thumbs thinking of the "why's" when she could be there rescuing them. Joker set a course for the station, and they arrived just in time for Shepard to call Liara and Garrus to the cargo bay and gear up.

She would've said it was just like old times, the three of them going off together. But this war and its changes twisted even nostalgia into something perverse. Just as she clipped on her shotgun, Cortez signaled that the shuttle was ready for them to head out. Once inside Shepard briefed her team on the situation.

"As this is a biotic specific area of the academy, Liara will be in charge of setting up any necessary aid to any students we encounter. Garrus, expect to come in contact with multiple security measures against us along the way,"

"I'd be disappointed if we didn't, Commander,"

"Right. Remember, this is a rescue mission first and foremost, but that doesn't mean we can't make some of the bastards pay along the way either," all three smirked at that, with all of them having a personal vendetta against Cerberus. The shuttle was ready for landing, and the team boarded the station.

The mission was tough. Just like anything involving Cerberus, simple tasks became complicated processes. Systems were jammed and there was no way off the station without alerting the entire Cerberus fleet surrounding them. Not the ideal circumstances for a rescue. After encountering two or three stragglers along the way, the team finally met up with the bulk of the students along with their teacher: none other than the foul-mouthed half-naked Jack.

"If it isn't my favorite girl scout!" she called down, recognizing the red stripe of Shepard's armor from across the expansive room. The stairs were leaped down in short order, and a swift punch found its way to Shepard's jaw. "That's for going back to the damn Alliance instead of starting our own pirate gang," Jack explained, though was nowhere near apologetic.

Rubbing her jaw under her helmet, Shepard couldn't help but smile as Garrus came up and pointed out that Jack was now in fact Alliance as well.

"Bite me Garrus. Or better yet, bite her. Probably how she likes it," Jack scowled through her remark, obviously on edge with Cerberus so close to her guys. "I warned you about them, Shepard! I told you to never trust Cerberus. They just used us to-"

"You aren't saying anything I haven't already told myself, Jack. And I never trusted them. We _used_ them, remember?" This got a smile out of the Psychotic Biotic, which finally cleared the air enough for them to form a plan to safely get the students off the station and into evac.

It was a brutal fight. The students, along with their teacher, were in the safety of a balcony above, only adding support as absolutely necessary, meaning the rest was up for Shepard's ground team to take care of. It didn't get too dicey until two Atlases showed up at once, accompanied by centurian and engineer escorts.

"They're getting desperate!" shouted Liara behind cover, putting one engineer in stasis before he could activate a turret.

"Must be their final push-take them out so we can get the hell outta here!" Shepard's voice was like a war cry as she cascaded herself in blue biotics, shouting for covering fire as she charged into the other engineer, effectively knocking him off their platform onto the many floors below. She rolled into cover behind a planter as a centurian turned her way, but didn't get a chance to fire a shot as Garrus lined his helmet in his crosshairs. This left an opening for Liara to begin her assault on the other ground tropper, hitting him with a warp as Garrus primed for a concussive shot. BLAM. Shepard's close range shotgun blast reverberated off the walls, leaving little of the cerberus logo on the trooper's helmet still legible.

"He was mine!" Garrus complained, now turning his concussive shot on the Atlas closest to Shepard, showering her cover in automatic fire.

"You're getting slow in your old age, Vakarian!" the redheaded human laughed behind her cover, getting ready to charge into a better position. A missile blasted the planter, rattling Shepard and disrupting her charge. As she staggered there, the other atlas fired its missile, knocking out her shields. The shock of the impact knocked her back down behind cover, just in time to be shielded from a blast: Jack had forgone her cover and sent a biotic warp so powerful it crushed through shields and stunned the operating pilot within. This made the already firing atlas turn into the other, hitting it right in the sweet spot of the fuses, creating a blast that echoed through the entire area.

"Well I think that means we're clear, right?" Garrus popped his head around his position, checking for the validity of his statement. With Cerberus now unable to block their way, the team and students were able to make their way to Cerberus shuttles-their means of escape through the blockade. Jack's team was in position to make a run for it, Shepard gave them the signal and off they went. For good measure, Liara was sent to cover them as Shepard and Garrus sealed the exits behind them and checked security vids of incoming rooms.

"Hold on, it looks like there's someone in the hall up ahead," Garrus tried to clear up the footage. From there they saw two young girls huddled together, a Cerberus trooper keeping them still at gunpoint.

"Leave with us and you both live. You're on your own and too weak to resist us," the mechanical undertones in the trooper's voice sent chills down Shepard, remembering the husk like features of them that she witnessed on Mars.

The younger girl whimpered. "I just want to go home…"

"We have to get in there!" Shepard ran towards the door, but Garrus caught her arm.

"Shepard, there's a platoon of them further down that hall. If we go that way, our own students wouldn't make it. Liara already diverted them ahead and they are almost to the shuttles. If we don't bug out now we are going to be overrun," his hand lingered on her arm, hoping that his touch would ground her to reason.

"We're not leaving them, dammit! We can't!" she tried to tear free of his grip, but he only spun her around to face him, hands grasping her shoulders to look at him.

"We have to. I'm sorry, Shep-"

"You freaks better be two seconds away from this shuttle or I am leaving your asses!" Jack cut through their comms, which distracted Garrus from his grip just long enough for Shepard to slip away and blast through the door into the hall. She charged in before he could pull her back, smashing into the trooper threatening the girls, sending him flying back to his platoon. This effectively had the entirety of the pack turn methodically in her direction, guns raised.

"Go ahead, bitches. Make my day,"

As if on cue, Joker buzzed in her comm. "Normandy to ground team, the cruiser isn't taking our bait and is coming around back to the station. Somebody must have tipped them off to what's going down in there. You better get out now before they blow this place to hell!"

It was too late for that now. "Liara, get the students on to a shuttle and get outta here now!"

She threw a shockwave at the group of white armored demons, giving her time as she snatched the girls and rolled into cover. "Stay down no matter what happens. Do not move, do not try anything," the girls nodded, recognizing her as Commander. Shots were buzzing over their heads, too many to roll out for return fire. The station began to rumble as it came under fire from the cruiser, alarms beginning to blare and flash. A shot whizzed past her, but from the opposite direction.

Garrus hit a centurian between the eyes, knocking him back into the shields of two guardians. As he reloaded for another shot, Shepard sent a pull that tore away their shields, but took damage to her own as the rest of the platoon rained shots down on her. Sending out an overload to shake them up, Garrus took a hit to his own shields. Rage flared and Shepard charged into the bulk of the white uniforms, some soaring from the impact, others knocked completely down. She let the wave of it carry through her as she smashed her residual energy into a torrent of force in front of her. Cerberus troops were left stunned or dead on the floor.

"Shepard, watch out!"

A combat engineer rolled out from behind a crate, as a turret sprang up from behind it. Garrus threw another overload at the turret as Shepard rolled into a crate to her left. She looked back at the girls in time to see that their cover was the target of the turret's full assault, chipping away the flimsy barricade as the bullets rained down on them. The combat engineer gave just enough fire power to give her and Garrus pause as they tried to take down the turret. The crate chipped away more. One of the girls screamed. Shepard called to Garrus to cover her as she went back to them, just as a little blue bubble rose up around them. A barrier, weak but spreading. The girls must have been young biotic students.

Just as Shepard was about to roll around her last crate to them, she heard a clicking. A frag grenade, the last effort of the combat engineer to take them out before Garrus laid him out instead. The trajectory went past the turian and over Shepard as she watched, horrified, to see its intended target.

The weak blue barrier was no match for the blast as it fizzled out.

Everything was ringing. Garrus saw Shepard screaming, tears running down her darkened face, before he heard her. His heartbeat pounded in his ears as he ran over to her, throwing her over his shoulder, making towards the shuttles. It was like a dream where no matter how hard he tried, everything was still moving slow motion. His legs were slow, the pounding of Shepard's fists against his back were slow. Blurred lines of the hallways and ringing ears were all he could see and hear. His target, the shuttle, that's what he focused on. The thuds of Shepard's fists pounded still, like a frenzied drum at a distance. The pounding of the cruiser's fire was growing louder, more severe. It was a shot too close to their location that knocked Garrus back to his senses. A crackling voice on his comm told him that Liara unlocked a remaining shuttle and that they were already en route to the Normandy. It should be a straight shot to the hanger bay now, just the red alerts blaring, reminding him that this station was falling apart and to keep moving, despite Shepard's insistance to the contrary. She begged to go back to the girls.

With the shuttle control's already unshackled, it was a simple task to drive the bird straight off the station and towards the Normandy. With conformation that the station was clear, a blast resounded out of the gun battery that cut the Cerberus cruiser cleanly in half, sending it straight at Grissom. Though out of the blast zone, the shuttle still felt the turbulance that resulted from the impact, sputtering them onward towards their target. Seeing the explosion through the holodisplay, Shepard's face turned to stone.

No one said a word as they boarded the Normandy. Even Jack was at a loss.


	9. Making Things Right

Jack and her students were quickly assigned to the citadel for further instruction, a shuttle arriving shortly after to escort them. The Normandy was quiet, which is what piqued Garrus' curiosity when he heard someone milling about in the mess hall. It wasn't hard to guess who it was, as he rolled out of his bunk and opened the battery doors.

Shepard was sitting at the long table, her head in her hands. It looked like there was an invisible but heavy weight sitting on her shoulders, drooping them down. Hair swept over her gazeless eyes; red curls like tendrils of flame. Even in her sadness, she still struck Garrus as a beacon of firey awe. It made his mandible twitch, which in the stillness of the room was loud enough to draw her attention. Her head swiveled to him, a tired half smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"I wondered how long it would take me to find you here," Garrus almost hummed he was talking so low. He pulled up the seat across from her.

"Apparently not long enough for you to get _fully_ undressed?" she pointedly rested her gaze on his bare chest, his pants consisting of little more than the mesh undersuit of his armor. He was suddenly very aware at his lack of covering. His mandible twitched in embarrassment, which didn't escape Shepard's attention. Thank the spirits she couldn't hear his heart suddenly studder in his chest.

"If this body doesn't cheer you up, I don't think anything will," he tried to brush off his self consciousness with humor, hoping to see some glimpse of a smile sneak onto her lips. Instead she looked down at the table and tucked a curl behind her ear.

"Do you remember Pragia?" she traced an imaginary circle on the table with her fingernail. They were finally long enough to make it appear that she cut the habit of biting them.

"The mission or the ah...debrief?"

"Both, I guess….I…" the imaginary circles grew tighter and faster, her scraping nail hurt his sensitive hearing. She opened her mouth to speak again, but her voice caught in her throat before words could form.

"Permission to speak freely, soldier" Garrus grinned, caught as Shepard looked up. Those were the mess hall rules. They could talk and be more than just soldiers. They could be people, with actual feelings. Not just regulations and missions. Anything laid out on the table stayed there and was fair game to bring up, including whatever was on her mind.

"I remember being so angry going through that compound. I never had the delusions that Cerberus was good in any way...maybe their intentions were ok, but never their methods. But I saw what Jack went through, I saw the cells and I saw that these people were no better than the batarians that took me and my sister. The monsters that...murdered our parents," she paused, looking over Garrus' shoulder and into the dark distance. "That was the first time I felt like a slave again,"

"I remember. The Illusive Man was keeping you in the dark, having you do his bidding,"

"I was his puppet. I felt like every ounce of control I had fought for was slipping through the scars they left me. I thought I was going to go crazy. When I saw that the bastards had a data file of Mindoir, I… I almost lost it," he remembered that data disk clutched in her hands, her screaming at EDI to try reading the corrupted file again for what it meant. Even after confronting Miranda, eventually the Illusive Man himself, there still were no answers. What did they have to do with her colony raid? "But you're what brought me back from the brink. You told me something I'll never forget-"

"That you were, and are, still the leader of this crew. That no level of modification from the Illusive Man could have added or taken that away from you. It's as natural to you as your ridiculous red fringe," she looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I remember, because it's still true. I know you saw yourself in those girls on Grissom, and I know you're kicking the shit out of yourself for what happened. But you went back, Shepard. You went back for them when most people would wash their hands and finish the mission," tears welled in her eyes that wouldn't make it to the surface. He hated seeing the visible evidence of her pain, and wanted more than anything to take it away. But she needed to hear this.

"What good did going back do? It didn't change anything in the end. People only see the mission reports-the success. They don't see the shit show behind it,"

He took her hand before she could continue. "You gave them something no one else could have-that Cerberus crap could've been the last thing they ever heard. They would've thought no one cared to come for them. But instead, they see some jacked up human flying through to save them. They could have been turned into something worse than the end they had," her hand stayed under his as he spoke, and her eyes settled on his gloveless talons. Nothing was going to be fixed tonight, but it was a start. Her thumb brushed his leather palm.

"Thank you, Garrus. I really have missed you,"

"Of course you have. Though unfortunately my scars have started to heal. I remember how they used to drive you wild…" he let his shit eating grin creep over his mandibles, looking over her sideways. She shoved his hand away, finally a smile spreading and lighting up her eyes.

"The one on your ass, most of all," she winked as he shivered, suddenly realizing that the clothing that normally regulated his heat was no longer present on his upper body. She obviously noticed this, getting up to take his hand and take him back to his bunk in the battery. "You're no good to me frozen. Let's get you some clothes,"

"I have to say, my ego is a little wounded that you're taking me back to my bunk to put my clothes _on_ me," they both snickered, though were careful not to wake Chakwas as they passed the med bay. Their footsteps were silent without the added weight of heavy boots, the whistle and hum of the battery doors the only giveaway of their presence.

"As big as it is, I'm sure it will heal in no time. Much faster than hypothermia, anyway," he admiringly watched her as she moved through his sparse belongings with ease. She knew exactly where to find his shirt, as he was a creature of habit when it came to his gun battery. "Now I assume you know how to put this on...but I suppose it might need some _calibrating,"_

"There are plenty of very tasteful and humorous times to slip in that line. Plenty. And yet somehow out of all of those times, you found one where it didn't even work," they both laughed easily at this.

Seeing her smile again, her cheeks turned flush under the network of freckles, filled him to the brim with warmth. He couldn't remember the last time he was this happy, shocking as it was after the horrible mission they just finished. Should he feel guilty? Was it normal to be so overjoyed by a woman finding his shirt? There was a time when he would've been more concerned with the fact that this _human_ woman made him so delighted, but that time was past. He accepted the fact that he was hers, body and spirit, and that her smooth delicate hands held every inch of his future. Thoughts blurred with the fatigue the early hours brought him, but it did nothing if not add to the senseless euphoria that filled him as he looked at this goddess that stood before him.

He couldn't help himself: we swung Shepard into his arms, his leg catching her as he dipped her like a lover's dance. They hung there like that for a moment, Shepard's heartbeat pounding against his chest, its frenzied rhythm loud enough for even human ears. She met his gaze, intent and deep. He nuzzled his brow against hers, breathing in the intoxicating cocktail of mint and everything human. His human.

"I missed you too, Jane,"

And in that moment, everything was right in the galaxy.


End file.
